Saturday 19 November 2011

Woe post is woe

(apologies for any formatting/spelling errors, this has been typed up on my phone)

So, I've been away for the best part of the past week, and haven't seen S since the Sunday before I left. This is a very long time for us not to see each other - we generally see each other at least two or three times a week. Plus all the time we spend communicating via txt, messenger or Facebook.

I've not really had reliable access to any of these, and I'm missing him terribly.

This is actually the first time I've missed someone like this. I keep turning around to point something out to him, or waiting for his response to a comment, or expecting my phone to tell me I've got a text. I keep going to text him (I've got halfway through a whole heap of texts before remembering I can't text right now), or send a Facebook message. When I sleep, I keep wondering where he is. When I wake up, I have a few seconds of "where's S?" before reality kicks in and I realise he's not here*. I keep wanting to touch him, hold him and curl around him. I'm so skin hungry right now it's like a physical ache in my chest, and I feel like I'm missing a part of me.

And I hate this feeling- if it's this bad now, what about when either if us travels for longer?

*the thing is, though, when I'm at home I don't get to sleep with him that often (the problem with living in two separate houses, whole my parents disapprove of me sleeping in the same bed as him). I don't get to touch him whenever I want. But suddenly, I'm so aware of the fact he's not here.

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